April 6, 2009
Melody
Twenty six years ago today, a young lady named Melody joined our family. She was the second of what would eventually be our four daughters. When she and her sisters were little girls, I created a folder for each of them in the filing cabinet. Sometimes, like tonight, I pull them out in order to remember. Melody’s is the thickest folder because of the way she has always lived out loud. She frequently wrote what she was feeling on notes and gave them to us. Most of the ones to Jeanie or me were “I love you” notes… sometimes they expressed her displeasure at the way we were running things. Regardless, I will treasure these forever.
The more I get to know her, the more I see a beautiful person with unique and incredible gifts and talents. She has persevered through undergrad and is now working her way through Medical school. Yes, medical school! Melody is going to be a doctor! And I am sure she will be a great doctor! Her artistic creativity, her ability to communicate and to understand difficult scientific topics combined with her tenacity, value for authentic integrity and compassion will take her far.
I love you, Melody. I am so glad I get to be your dad. Happy Birthday!
Dad
February 9, 2009
Animated In Bed
Creative artistic expressions light me up. Watching this video, I realize that at another time in my life, I felt a need to try everything. I would have been thinking of copying the technique to do it myself. Now, I find that I am still aware of “how it is done”, I am free to sit back and marvel at the creativity of the artist (Oren Lavie). Tasteful music along with… well you have to see it for yourself (about 4 minutes)…
For feeds that do not include the embedded video, click here.
hat tip: State of Pate
February 1, 2009
Molly Pics
Erin–Thanks for asking for a slideshow. It was way easy to do and works well. Hope the rest of you can handle all the photos of Molly. I’m trying to take it slow… no really, I am!
These are photos that Jeanie took while she was down helping Danae with Molly.
http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf
… and these were photos from Molly and Danae’s visit to Charlotte last weekend. Danae was playing in the SC Collegiate Honor Band concert on Saturday and they stayed overnight. The music was so good! They did an excellent job and it was real ear-candy for me. You can hear a recording of the music here.
http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf
January 16, 2009
Mollypops
TED Talks is one of the coolest sites I have ever stumbled upon. Lots of wonderful, intelligent talks about a world of different subjects. I watched one this week by Erin McKean this week that is really fun and has inspired me (shared below). She’s a lexicographer (compiles dictionaries). She has a lot of fun basically making the point that this is our language and words that communicate are good words. I recognized myself in her description of people who ask, “Is that a word?” As if we have some governing authority who determines what are words and what are not.
Words emerge in our language all the time i.e. google. “I think I will google lexicographer.” makes perfect sense to us, but what would we have thought even just 10 years ago. When and how did it become a “real word”?
I’m going to try to stop asking if something is a real word and start trying to influence language by introducing some really good new words. And the first entry will be mollypops.
mollypops adjective – Containing both Molly and her maternal grandfather (aka Pops).
example: Did you see the precious mollypops photo on jimazing.com?
January 6, 2009
We see, They see–Part 2
Whoops!
I am not sure how it happened, but I published my last post with comments turned off. I have changed that and they are back on now.
A Quick Case Study
This mistake on my part might make an interesting case study of my last post. My guess is that some of you saw the “Comments are Closed” notice and determined (based on my behavior of closing comments) that I was not interested in what you had to say. If you did, you were incorrect. Despite my behavior of turning off comments, my intentions were to hear from my readers and my desire is to make that as easy as possible. One of the joys of blogging is receiving feedback. I like hearing how my words affect you.
The prior post was about the “We see/They see” quote repeated here:
We judge ourselves by our intentions.
Others judge us by our behaviors.
We cannot see our own behaviors.
Others cannot see our intentions.
My intention was to share my thoughts and hear yours. You saw my “closed comments” behavior. I was blind to my own behavior until someone pointed it out to me. Likewise, you could not have seen my intentions until I explained myself.
Communication is Key
I was also stirred by an email from a dear friend who’s expressed desire to begin to look for intentions more in the coming year. I appreciate that thought and it leads me to ask how one looks for intentions. I think it is important to note that the first and most important element in communicating behavior and intentions is communication itself. The problem is not that we don’t try to see our own behavior, we really cannot see it the way others do. It is not that we don’t try to understand the intentions of others. We actually cannot know them. The only way we can possibly know what our own behavior looks like to those around us is to hear it from them, and we can only know their intentions when they communicate them to us.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not talking about being nice. I’m talking about communicating on a whole new level, something that does not come naturally and will take risk and effort. It mostly is not modeled for us and it feels weird when we do it (but it is worth it).
Here are two unhealthy ways I could handle a situation with you: Let’s say that you do something that irritates me. I could determine that you meant to hurt me and react based on that assumption. I lash out at you verbally and we argue. In that case, I didn’t understand your intention and you didn’t understand my volatile reaction. Now let’s roll back the tape and replay it again. You do something that irritates me. I give you the benefit of the doubt by assuming that you didn’t mean to hurt me. I conclude that your actions were unintentionally harmful. I graciously choose not to respond to what you actually did. While the first way may lead to unnecessary conflict, the second way can lead to being taken advantage of by the person who had ill intentions, but is never held accountable for his or her actions.
No matter whether one makes a positive or a negative assumption about the intentions of the other, the operative word is “assumption”. Assumptions are not truth. I hope I am not taking this verse too far out of context, but it reminds me of the words of Jesus in John 8:32, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” The only way we can learn the true intentions of others is to communicate.
January 5, 2009
We see, They see
A few weeks ago, I heard the following thought and it rang true to me. I wrote it down in order to ponder it. The more I think about it, the more important it seems to me.
We judge ourselves by our intentions.
Others judge us by our behaviors.
We cannot see our own behaviors.
Others cannot see our intentions.
To complicate matters even more, the “we” and the “others” changes constantly. At the same time that I am being judged by someone by my behavior, I am judging them by their behavior.
This miscommunication is the source of much fighting, loss of friendships and even wars. Sometimes I wonder how we humans manage to get along as well as we do. Mostly I wonder how we can do better.
January 2, 2009
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year
A good friend said to me yesterday, “I hope at the end of 2009, you will say that this was one of the best years of your life.'” What a terrific thought! It reminds me that, although I cannot control everything that happens to me, I potentially have more input into how my life plays out than anyone else.
My prayer for 2009 is that I grow into the person that I was meant to be and that I be an influence for positive change as grow in loving God and loving others as myself. For you, I hope that each of you look back in a year and say to yourself, “What an awesome year 2009 was… I think it was the best one yet!”
2008 Collage (click to enlarge)
Collage and News
In 2000, I started a tradition of creating a collage of photos from the year and a newsletter then posting them on the internet. It was my special way of getting out of sending Christmas Cards. Now it has become a “must do”. Click these links to view the 2008 collage and 2008 news. To see past years, click the Family News menu above.
I hope to write some reflections on 2008 in the coming days even though it’s all out of order that way. I can write them later, but Happy New Year has to be done today and it is almost gone!
December 23, 2008
Cradle
Little Molly sleeping in the cradle. Seeing her brings back so many memories for me. I made this cradle with the help of a couple of good friends. I had bought the plans with the intention to make it for Danae, but couldn’t seem to find the time. Sorry Danae 😦 By the time Melody came along it was done and ready for her.
I wanted to make it from poplar wood and asked my friend Mike Flannigan where I might find some that wouldn’t bee too expensive. Money was extremely tight back then. He said that he had a poplar log that was ready to mill. He took it to the mill to have it cut up and let me have my pick of the lumber. He only charged me what it cost him to have it milled. As you can see, it was beautiful wood with only a few knots or flaws.
It was called a “Noah’s Ark” cradle and included plans for converting it to a toy box. The toy box phase included a lid that looked like the top of the ark and rollers to push around like a ship on the sea. I never got around to finishing that part of it. In fact, as I got into the building of phase 1 of the cradle, I quickly realized that I needed help. My good friend, Jim Kassner volunteered to help me. I don’t know how many evenings and weekends we invested in the basement together (mine and his), but they are very pleasant memories. The end pieces were especially challenging. They are extremely thick and the wood was hard so it took a lot of sanding to shape the the curve properly. We used Jim’s joiner to trim the boards for the sides so they would fit together as one wide plank. I worked in the music repair shop at the time and used our paint spray booth to put on the finish.
I imagine that most people who look at her in the cradle see a beautiful baby and an interesting cradle. I see that and so much more… floods of wonderful memories of good friends, of having not nearly enough money to live on and of God’s provision in spite of us. Many children have slept in the cradle… their names are all written on the bottom. Now my grandchild is sleeping in it. How cool is that?! Add Molly Nicole to the cradle roster. May you have just as rich memories as mine when you are 50 and writing to your grandchild.
December 17, 2008
Welcome Molly Nicole
I would like to introduce you to the latest Anderson girl. World, meet Molly Nicole Ogren… Molly meet the world! Molly arrived late this morning while I was travelling to Charleston. I have been here for a couple of hours and she has been in the nursery that whole time… so I am axious to actually meet her myself. Click here to see a slide show of photos that Jeanie took early on.
While driving down, I was thinking about my last post and how I want to be one who influences the world to be a better place for my daughters. Now I have one more daughter to consider… a GRAND daughter. As I was pondering the influence I will have on her, I began to think of the influence she will have on me. When I was a youngster, the order of things was like this: the adults influenced the kids and the kids were influenced. It was very much a one way street. As an adult, I have a much broader perspective. I see influence between the generations as a two way street. My daughters and sons-in-law influence me greatly… and I am glad. They have gifts, strengths, talents, experiences and perspectives that I do not have. My life is much richer as I welcome their influence.
Little Molly is already influencing me. All the way from Charlotte to Charleston, I felt as if I were being pulled by an unseen force… the grandpa magnet. Molly, I can hardly wait to hold you.
December 14, 2008
Women!
Isabelle Allende opened her talk with an old Jewish saying; “What is truer than truth?” “Stories,” she answered, and began to tell some stories that stirred up a blog entry… Listening to her stories, I found myself stirred in a way that she probably didn’t intend, but then again, she doesn’t know my story. Isn’t that the power of a story? Each of us hears the same story, but we hear it from our own perspective. Stories don’t lead us all to the same thoughts or the same behavior. They have the power to stir fires of passion that already exist.
Isabelle’s told stories about women throughout the world who are making a difference, or sadly, who cannot make a difference. The 18 minute video is at the end and I hope you will give her a listen. Her stories fanned the flames of a passion that I didn’t even realize was smouldering in my heart. She told three stories of women making a difference and women who have no voice whatsoever. She told stories of women who were (and are) raped and beaten for no reason at all. Shoking and saddening! She mentioned Wangari Maathai, whose story I heard on Speaking of Faith a few weeks ago… about how she made a difference in Kenya teaching the village women to plant trees which led to changing the livelihoods and even the very climate of her home. Inspiring! But that is not what stirred in me.
I am the proud father of four wonderful daughters (who are very much grown up despite the implications of this photo). Without ever really articulating it to myself or to them, I always wanted my daughters to be strong, independent women. I wanted them to be able to think for themselves and to have the power to follow their passions. I recognized that they were all beautiful and smart, but they were each so unique. They have gifts, strengths and abilities that no one else on the face of the planet has. I knew my life was better because they were in it. Now that I see who they are and who they are becoming, I realize that the whole world is a better place because they are in it!
My daughters have a voice! I want a world where their voice is heard… free of preconceived notions about what women can (or should) do. I have every confidence that they can overcome these obstacles, but it is unnecessary friction. The friction limits what they can accomplish with so much energy wasted just making heat. Let’s make the world a better place for my daughters (and all daughters) to succeed. We need them more than we know.
| http://static.videoegg.com/ted/flash/loader.swf |
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/isabel_allende_tells_tales_of_passion.html
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