Blog

First Time For Everything

Nov 10, 2016 | | 7 comments

There’s a first time for everything, but someone in their late fifties has most of his “first times” behind him so the new ones are extra important. Today was a first time for me. The news of our election brought with it emotions that I have never experienced. I’ve felt the elation of winning and […more]

Seeking Solitude

Sep 23, 2015 | | 6 comments

Today, September 23, 2015, is the 3 year anniversary of the loss of my youngest daughter. Every year on this day, I have taken the day off from work to honor Kat and to find some solitude. This year, I anticipated spending the week at the Well of Mercy, where I have gone on retreat […more]

Swinging Trees

Jun 21, 2014 | | Say something

  The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now. ~Chinese Proverb When we moved into our house 15 years ago, the backyard was a steep, grassy hill. I didn’t have to mow it too many times before deciding a wooded backyard would be a lot more […more]

This is Grief

Sep 29, 2013 | | 1 comment

Grief is not about the person we lost. It is not an exercise in doing what they would have wanted. Grief is for the person who is grieving. It is self care; a process of integrating the loss into our life. Just as her presence in my life changed the person I am, the loss […more]

Living Presence

Sep 8, 2013 | | 4 comments

Each of us lives in the lives of others. Sometimes we are fortunate to witness a glimpse of our influence in the life of another person. It could be a word, a quote, a gesture, a choice of restaurants… and we smile to ourselves, “I know where that came from.” But the real treasure, the […more]

Becoming Real

Jul 4, 2013 | | 6 comments

Linda Robertson’s story, Just Because He Breathes, is not our story, but the parallels resonate deeply with me.  It inspires me to share a little more of our story with Kat. When Kat came out to her mom and me, much like the Robertsons, our immediate reaction was to get help for her, to cure […more]

The Wall is Down

May 13, 2013 | | Say something

The wall is down. The wall was a creation for Kat made by some incredible friends. It was never intended to be permanent. I wrote about the creation of the wall in, The Room Built with Love. It was Sunday, September 16th when a group of guys gave up Sunday relaxation in order to help a friend […more]

Pink Squares

Mar 27, 2013 | | 11 comments

Update: When I first posted this, I understood the meaning behind the image, but I didn’t understand some pretty basic things about it… First, it is an equal sign (=). Seems silly now, but I didn’t see that in the beginning. Also, it is a red version of the Human Rights Campaign logo. The name of […more]

Writing the Illusive Story

Mar 20, 2013 | | 3 comments

My stories run up and bite me on the leg – I respond by writing down everything that goes on during the bite. When I finish, the idea lets go and runs off. –Ray Bradbury Sometimes the dog brings me a finished thought that comes easy. Other times, he is more like the timid little […more]

Sometimes You Just Know

Feb 20, 2013 | | 8 comments

Did you ever know something was true, but it just didn’t feel true? Walking through Kat’s illness with her, most of the time, I felt useless or close to it. I wanted to make her better and I could not. Just sitting in the hospital room with her day in and day out seemed like […more]