Seeking Solitude

Sep 23, 2015 | | 6 comments

Today, September 23, 2015, is the 3 year anniversary of the loss of my youngest daughter. Every year on this day, I have taken the day off from work to honor Kat and to find some solitude. This year, I anticipated spending the week at the Well of Mercy, where I have gone on retreat […more]

This is Grief

Sep 29, 2013 | | 1 comment

Grief is not about the person we lost. It is not an exercise in doing what they would have wanted. Grief is for the person who is grieving. It is self care; a process of integrating the loss into our life. Just as her presence in my life changed the person I am, the loss […more]

Living Presence

Sep 8, 2013 | | 4 comments

Each of us lives in the lives of others. Sometimes we are fortunate to witness a glimpse of our influence in the life of another person. It could be a word, a quote, a gesture, a choice of restaurants… and we smile to ourselves, “I know where that came from.” But the real treasure, the […more]

Becoming Real

Jul 4, 2013 | | 6 comments

Linda Robertson’s story, Just Because He Breathes, is not our story, but the parallels resonate deeply with me.  It inspires me to share a little more of our story with Kat. When Kat came out to her mom and me, much like the Robertsons, our immediate reaction was to get help for her, to cure […more]

The Wall is Down

May 13, 2013 | | Say something

The wall is down. The wall was a creation for Kat made by some incredible friends. It was never intended to be permanent. I wrote about the creation of the wall in, The Room Built with Love. It was Sunday, September 16th when a group of guys gave up Sunday relaxation in order to help a friend […more]

Sometimes You Just Know

Feb 20, 2013 | | 8 comments

Did you ever know something was true, but it just didn’t feel true? Walking through Kat’s illness with her, most of the time, I felt useless or close to it. I wanted to make her better and I could not. Just sitting in the hospital room with her day in and day out seemed like […more]

Dark and Stormy Night

Jan 21, 2013 | | 7 comments

The storm was coming in from a different direction than they normally did. I was inside the house and noticed that the sky outside looked odd, so I went out to investigate.  I have seen lightening before. I have even seen lightening go across the sky within a cloud before, but I had never seen […more]

Kat’s Ashes

Dec 25, 2012 | | 6 comments

So many challenges and questions to be answered when a loved one dies. None have been so heart wrenching for us as deciding what to do with Kat’s ashes and then following through with it. Kat’s wishes were to have her remains cremated, but she did not have any preference for what should be done […more]

Loving Kat, Changing Me

Dec 2, 2012 | | 18 comments

This is a story about my daughter Kat and just one area where she had a profound impact in my life. Actually although Kat is at the center of this story, the story is about me. Many who did not know Kat were made aware of her existence because of her tremendous fight with cancer. […more]

More so

Nov 23, 2012 | | 3 comments

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. Getting through the day was not as hard for me as I feared, (speaking only for myself). Maybe it was because I steeled myself for the “big day”… the first holiday… By “steeling myself”, I do not mean that I turned off my emotions. I mean that I prepared myself to accept […more]