A few days ago, I decided to do an experiment in posting to my blog every day for 30 days. By missing yesterday’s post, I answered the question… I can’t do it.
So what? Now what? At this point, I can choose to end the experiment as a failure or examine what went wrong (if anything) and learn a little more about me and what I really want.
My friend, Curtis plays the guitar. He has recently picked it back up in earnest and is writing songs for people as gifts. My birthday present this year was a rewrite of “Yesterday” by the Beatles (lyrics below). There’s no way I can express how much that meant to me. Knowing that he thought enough of me to plan it in advance, to think about what song to do and then writing lyrics that fit me (not to mention knowing me well enough to be able to write for and about me). It was a gift I will always treasure!
I mention Curtis and the guitar because I always wanted to play the guitar. I like to say to say now, “I would give anything to play the guitar… ANYTHING!… except practice.” And it’s true. I could do it. I already understand the music. It’s just another instrument. I just don’t want to do it badly enough to “pay my dues”. Is writing like that? Am I willing to give up what I would need to, in order to finish a book?
Yesterday was filled with wonderful activities with people I love. I wouldn’t have given up any of them. They were all very important to me. On some level, I believe that a good writer writes first and then organizes whatever is left of his life around that. I don’t think I can do that. One of the things I value most in life is variety. I love recording life using photos, videos and words, but I never want to stop “living life” in order to do it.
Maybe I don’t really want to write a book as badly as I think I do. Or maybe writing would be better as a collaborative effort for me. Some of my favorite books were written by teams of writers. For now, I will continue the experiment and wrestle a bit more when I fail again. Molly will be staying with us for a few days starting Tuesday while her mom goes to a Music Therapy conference. Something tells me that there will be life to be lived and written about.
Yesterday to Legacy (RTI–April 18, 2010)
All my time keeping others an arm’s length away
Didn’t think they’d care ’bout what I had to say
Oh I didn’t believe in me Yesterday . . .
I’m now twice the man I used to be
Friends in my life celebrating over me . . . it’s a
New legacy—God brought to me
Now I clearly see—the Art in me’s for the world to know
I have something to say—want to bring it out more every day so now my
Love’s not a game I have to play!
It’s just me being who He made me to be
Oh the weight of my presence—that’s my legacy!
Jim in my life—he’s a gift to me!